Good Evening Journal
by A Very Crisscolfer Fangirl
Summary: This is the sequel to the Crisscolfer AU 'Dear Journal'. Darren and Chris have been together for a long time when they find the journal again.


**_AN:_**

So, here`s the little reminder again:

Story

**Journal**

_Darren's thoughts_

I hope you like it, let me know what you thought.

* * *

"Darren, come look at this!" Chris called from the bedroom of their almost empty apartment. He was surrounded by boxes and he had found a valuable object in the back of the bottom drawer of their closet.

"What's wrong?" Darren asked when he came running in to the room. He found Chris with his back turned towards him on his knees in front of the open drawer.

He got up and turned around. Darren's eyes immediately went to the thing Chris was holding. "I found my journal." He said and held up the black and white striped notebook.

Darren's eyes went wide and he walked over to Chris "Oh my god, this thing brought us together!" Darren took it out of Chris' hands. "I can't believe you've still got this." He whispered in aw and flicked trough the notebook.

"Of course I have!" Chris snatched the notebook back from Darren's hands. "This is why I've found my Prince Charming." He caressed his first love's cheek. "And everything is in here."

Darren bounced up and down. "Oh, I haven't read this since we got together. Let me read it?" He pouted and fluttered his eyelashes at Chris.

"No." Chris said firmly. He held up the notebook in the air when Darren tried to reach for it.

"Why not?" Darren crossed his arms over his chest when he realized there was no use in trying to reach for it.

"It's my journal." Chris said in a childish tone, he held the notebook to his chest and warped his arms around it prospectively.

"But you wrote about me." Darren pushed on, but Chris had nothing of it.

"You don't have time to read it," Chris put the notebook in a box labeled 'old stuff' and closed it. He handed the box to Darren. "we need to get these boxes in the van."

"I want to read it." Darren whined.

"You can read it in our new home." Chris said and kissed Darren quickly.

Darren put the box down again. He started to open the box again, but Chris stopped him. "You've always been protective of your journal. You can read mine."

Chris' eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You have a journal? How come I've never heard of that?" He questioned.

"Because I am very protective of it." Darren said and took Chris' hands in his. "I started it the day we got together. It's a journal about us, because I knew this would happen. I knew we would stay together. And I think a journal is a important thing in our relationship. We got together because of one, in honor of that I kept one too. I'm still writing the important stuff in it."

"Important stuff?" Chris asked surprised. "Is there important stuff in our relationship? Remind me?" He said playfully, because he knew exactly what 'important stuff' Darren was talking about.

He started summing up their special moments. After every moment Darren placed a small, dry kiss on Chris' neck. "The day we got together **kiss** our first kiss **kiss **our first date **kiss **our firs 'I love you' **kiss** our coming out in public **kiss **our first time **kiss **prom **kiss **our first apartment together," He looked around, taking in the place they had been living for years, it wasn't their first apartment, but still "our little girl **kiss **our first house and I think I forgot about something," He pretended to think real deep. He took Chris' left hand with both hands and started playing with the silver ring. "something important, but I can't remember. Can you help me?"

"Ehm, let's see." Chris started playing with Darren's ring too. "It was important?" Darren nodded. "What could it be, what could it be? Last night's proposal?" He offered.

Darren thought about it for a moment. "That sounds about right." He said casually. "Now let me have that journal!" He tried to grab the box, but Chris stopped him again.

"Moving first!"

Darren pretended to have a paper and a pen and started writing on air. "Dear journal,

My lovely fiance won't let me read his journal-"

"Boxes to van!" Chris pushed another box in his fiance's arms. Darren smiled and kiss Chris' cheek before he exited the room.

* * *

That nigh they had officially moved in to their new house. Chris had put their 14 months old daughter, Kyla, to bed. He peeked in to the living room to tell Darren he was going to bed, too. Darren nodded and kissed his soon-to-be husband goodnight. When he sat down again he remembered something Chris had said earlier. 'You can read it in our new home.' _This is our new home._ He ignored the warm feeling that welled up in his chest for now, he looked for the box labeled 'old stuff' and opened it. Darren didn't have to search for the notebook, because it was on top. He flipped trough the pages until he reached the part he hadn't read yet.

* * *

**Good evening journal,**

_Just like old times._

**A very, very, very good evening! This was the best day of my life!**

_Oh was it? Tell me all about it._

**When I came home I couldn't find this thing. I panicked. That's an understatement. I freaked out! If someone found it my life would be over!**

_Wrong._

**And then the doorbell rang. There he was. Darren. Little problem, he was holding my journal. **

_I remember that. I was so overwhelmed. I couldn't believe people could make someone feel that bad, especially the perfection that's called Chris. I couldn't believe Chris freaking Colfer thought about me in that way. And I was scared. I had broken in on his privacy. I expected him to be mad at me for reading his journal._

**Before I knew it he was hugging me and whispering sweet things to me. Then I cried in front of him and then he kissed me. **

_Yeah I did! _A smile appeared on Darren's face when he remembered that beautiful moment.

**And I'm completely not screaming right now, because that was totally not my first kiss. And my mom certainly did not just come running in to check on me because she thought I fell and broke something.**

_He's so adorable! I know it was his first kiss. He had told me shyly, but he didn't believe me when I admitted it had been my first kiss, too._

**Sigh. I still feel like I can wake up from this amazing dream any minute. **

_Please don't ever wake up. I like your dream._

**I know I won't because that kiss was real. I felt it. It was the kiss of the century. I was pretty sure he couldn't top that.**

_Oh yes I can._

**He could. **

_Told you._

**The second one was even more amazing.**

**After that he asked me to come over for dinner. **

_I can't believe I was that straightforward. We had our second conversation, our first kiss and he met my patents in half an hour. Why did we take this long to get engaged again?_

**You should have seen my mom's face when I told her I would go to Darren's for dinner. Priceless.**

**During dinner we were holding hands all the time. His parents saw it, but they said nothing. Darren probably has to explain that tonight.**

_Yes I did. And they were so happy for us._

**His parents are amazing. They are accepting and sweet and caring. Plus, his father makes a mean lasagna. **

_That's true, Chris has improved the secret recipe, though. It took a lot of convincing from Chris' side to get it in hands. And my dad can't stand the fact he made it even more delicious._

**And there's Chuck, Darren's older brother. **

_Oh-o. This can't be good. I remember the things he's said during that dinner._

**He is brotherly. He is exactly the big brother you see in movies. He was funny, although he mainly embarrassed Darren in front me. **

_He did. Please let that be it. Please don't write more about Chuck._

**He told many stories about Darren as a toddler.**

_O-oh._

**For instance, when they were on holiday in Italy, Darren had to pee when they were on a highway. They couldn't find a gas station, so Darren had to take a wee behind a bush. After he was finished he ran out behind the bush without any pants on. His parents ran after him and tried to catch him. **

_He just HAD to write that one down, didn't he? He always likes that story._

**The story totally made him blush and he looked so cute!**

_Awww, I can't stay mad at you, past Chris. You're too cute and smitten to be mad at. I sort of feel like a pedo for calling a teenager cute, but this teenager is my fiance. Why does that sound so wrong and so right at the same time?_

**After dinner he took me up to his room. We talked, I learned a lot about him and he learned a lot about me. We are absolutely made for each other. **

_Yes we are. It's so sweet we already knew we were meant for each other at that moment._

**Then we kissed again. And again, and again, and again. Kissing in his room was so private and safe, like no one could touch us and nothing else mattered.**

_I loved how carefree and unique he was behind closed doors, but I love it even more he is that carefree and unique everywhere now._

**And tomorrow we're going out on our first date.**

**I can't wait!**

* * *

**Hey journal,**

**Argh our first date! First of many if you'd ask me.**

_You are absolutely right._

**We had a romantic picnic. It was in his backyard, but still. He wanted to go to the park, but he realised we could be more ourselves when no other people were around. **

_I wanted to take him out on a proper date, but I read that journal. I didn't know what would happen if we went out to have a romantic picnic. I was scared people would ruin our first date._

**It was amazing. He had cleared the house from his parents and his brother so we could be alone for our date.**

_I wouldn't want a date in my backyard and have my parents and Chuck around. Especially Chuck._

**He was so sweet and such a gentleman. **

_I always am._

**We fed each other fruit salad and just lay down enjoying the sun and we shared slow kisses and small pecks.**

_His kisses can never fail to send shivers down my spine. Not then, not now, not ever._

**I can hardly breath right now. He's so cute and I feel like I'm in a romantic movie. It was so perfect and it seems unreal.**

_It was. I couldn't possibly describe it as anything else. It was sweet and romantic and the perfect way to show him he is loved instead of all the hatred he received at school._

**Darren Criss is my boyfriend. Wow.**

_Chris Colfer is my fiance. Wow._

* * *

**Dear journal,**

**It has started. **

_What started?_

**We were just holding hands in the hallway and his 'friends' came up to us and started yelling at me. **

_Oh, that. They were not my friends and you know that._

**They told me to leave Darren alone and that I was forcing myself up on him. **

_That was horrible. They said horrible things to Chris and they shoved him, but they didn't do anything to me. Like it was his fault. The worst thing was, under that brave face of his, Chris let it get to him._

**Darren, the gentleman he is, yelled at them that none of that was true and they had to leave me alone. **

_That was the end of my popular high school days. Not that I cared. I had Chris. And even if I hadn't, I'd rather be alone than hang with them._

**They didn't take it well. They tossed us in the dumpster.**

_That was my first time in the dumpster. I was shocked to see Chris climb out of it with practiced ease. He'd done it many times before. Later I'd gotten enough practise, too._

**Darren keeps a brave face, but I can see it's getting to him. **

_It was. I hate ignorance more than anything. I just don't get it. Why do they think we're wrong? I know I'm right, but what's wrong with falling in love? It's a miracle to me how they didn't see that. I would like to see how they are doing now. I'm pretty sure they're not marrying their high school sweetheart. And I haven't heard about any of them winning a Golden Globe, or being cast on a popular tv-show, so I don't think they've accomplished more in their lives than we did._

**He has never been bullied for his sexuality, hell he's never been bullied! **

_No, that Darren had never been bullied, and the two of you shouldn't have been bullied at all._

**He told me he had lots of gay friends in San Francisco and everyone accepted him. He's never been trough this and he shouldn't have to, but there's nothing I can do about it. **

_That's the worst part. Were powerless. We can't do anything against the bullying, no matter how hard we try. I know a lot of children get bullied because of their sexuality, or because they're different in any other way. Chris and I are trying to make the world a little better with 'Glee' and '8 The Play', but we can only do so much._

**All I can do is being there for him when he needs me.**

_That, you did. And you still do._

* * *

**Hey journal,**

**I'm bored. **

_Why, my sweet love?_

**Darren is in San Francisco for the weekend and Hannah is at the hospital with mom and dad. She'll be home soon, but they've been gone all day.**

**Oh I totally forgot! Mom, dad and Hannah met Darren.**

_Oh yeah, I did. I instantly fell in love with his family._

**Hannah didn't even notice there was anyone else in the room other than Darren. **

_We clicked. _

**She absolutely loves him! That means a lot to me. **

_I know it does. And it means a lot to me, too. I mean, we're talking about Hannah Freaking Colfer here!_

**If Darren wasn't gay I would have thought they were flirting.**

_If I didn't have the hots for her brother I totally would. But it's too late for that now, not only am I engaged (*Squeal squeal*) she would never choose me over her boyfriend._

**Hannah made Darren play every Disney song he knows. **

_Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I must have played for ages, because I know a lot of Disney songs._

**Oh I failed to mention, my incredibly hot, sweet, perfect and polite boyfriend **

_Oh stop it, I'm blushing._

**plays guitar and piano and violin and a bunch of other instruments and he can sing. Do I need to go on? He is just...**

* * *

**Hello journal,**

**Darren and I had our first public kiss today. **

_First of many._

**We were standing at his locker and I just didn't think about anyone. I just wanted to kiss my boyfriend like every other couple in school. So I did. **

_I'm so glad he did. It might seem like something small now, because we've kissed in front of the whole world numerous times, but it was a big deal. Like showing all those assholes we didn't care about what they said. We didn't know it yet, but we were, and still are, in love. Head over heels._

**It was short, but it was there. We heard everyone whisper behind us and a lot of people were staring, but nothing happened. They didn't do anything to us.**

_That was weird and sort of terrifying. We were afraid they would come after us, but they never came. Not because of the kissing._

**I could tell Darren was glad I took that step first. **

_It sounds weak, but it's true. Chris is stronger than me. He has put up with that torture for eighteen years. I only went trough it for one year and Chris had to put me together more times than I'd like to admit. He never broke down._

**He is still new to this whole not being accepted thing. I hope I can teach him to not think about what the people in the hallways think and focus on the people who are close to him, they matter. **

_You did. You taught me that and I'm grateful for it every single day._

**If those brainless idiots don't get it, they can just piss off.**

_Yes!_

* * *

**I am scared for life! **

_What, Why? Was this about that one time he felt my..._

**My parents just gave me The Talk. **

_Oh. My. God. How come I've never heard about that? This is gold! Please details!_

**I have never been this ashamed in my life! They even gave me the supplies! **

_That's how he got those. I couldn't imagine teenage, slightly awkward Chris going to the store and buying those supplies._

**I am banging my head against my desk as we speak! **

_No! Don't hurt your pretty head._

**They said it would come in handy since I have a boyfriend now. No! **

_Yes!_

**We are not going to do that any time soon! **

_Oh, just wait and see._

**I'm so terrified, I'll wait till I'm 40!**

_No you won't. I'm disappointed. I wanted more details._

* * *

**Hello journal,**

**I think I'm in love. **

_You can skip the thinking part, you most defiantly are._

**A lot of people would say that's a good thing, but it scares me. **

_I know it does. Sometimes he still hesitates because of some stupid fear of me leaving him. Look at this ring. That's not going to happen._

**I've never been in love before. I've always focused on graduating alive and getting out of here, but now I feel like as long as I'm with Darren, everything is going to be okay. **_Awww, don't make me cry._

**That scares me. It's risky, I can lose everything in a heartbeat. **

_This would be so much more of a nail biter if I didn't know how this would end._

**I want to love him, but I don't. I don't know what to do. Should I give in to it, or should I fight it?**

_Give in. It's LOVE what's the worst that can happen? Especially since I know he loves you back._

**He makes me feel good. He makes me happy, but what if he stands in my way of a future? **

_He won't. He'll help you._

**I can't let him mess with that. I want to go to LA or New York, what if he wants to move back to San Francisco after we graduate? **

_Why would I go to San Fran when you are in LA?_

**What if I've given in by then and he has become my world? I have to follow my dreams, I've worked too hard to let them slip.**

_I'll tell you a little secret. You'll get the best of both worlds._

* * *

**Hey journal,**

**So, that was- what was it? Clarifying? Horrifying? I think I'll go with awkward. **

_O-oh. Is this about-_

**We were making out (because we do that) and suddenly I felt a certain something, so I yelped and ran to the other side of the room.**

_Yes it is._

**Turns out, Darren is ready to take our relationship to a new level. **

_Oh god, I feel like such a pervert. I said that. I felt so bad because I made him that uncomfortable._

**The point is, I don't know if I am. I want to, I really do, but I don't think I can be comfortable in that situation.**

_That was the reason. I knew that, but it still doesn't make sense to me. He has always been insecure about the way he looks. Sometimes he still is, but I don't see why._

**I don't look like him. I'm this weird, pale, muscle-less, chubby guy. **

_Translation to my language: You're this beautiful, flawless, perfect guy._

**I'm not comfortable with myself, let alone with someone else, especially Darren, looking at me in that way.**

_Why? Like seriously, why? _

**He tells me I'm beautiful all the time, **

_Because you are._

**but that's hard to believe when you look like this.**

_Wrong._

**Part of me really wants to do it, but the other part doesn't. **

_And that's fine. I sort of feel like I've pressured him, but I know I haven't._

**I mean, I don't know how to do that. Well, I know the mechanics (thanks to the incredibly awkward talk with my parents. I still don't think I'm over that) **

Darren giggled out loud. _Still hilarious._

**but I don't know how the rest works. How am I supposed to act? **

_As yourself._

**How far does he want to go? **

_As far as you want to._

**What kind of things does he want me to say or do? **

_Whatever feels right._

**Those were just a few things from a on going list. I can't imagine me doing those things. **

_I can._

**That is going to be absolutely completely unmistakably AWKWARD. In capitals. **

* * *

**Hi journal,**

**Darren and I are going to prom together. **

_Oh no. Why does he seem excited?_

**I never thought I would go to prom. And I certainly never thought I would take my boyfriend to prom! **

_Bad idea. Very bad._

**It's so exiting. I can't wait for him to see my suit. **

_Okay, that was an upside._

**Oh, I can't wait to see him in a suit. Although, he's the barefoot hippie kind of guy, I can hardly imagine how he would look in a suit. **

_Don't. Now I look fairly well in a suit (I've been told) but back then? Not a great idea. I looked like a monkey in a tuxedo. And he looked stunning so that didn't help. I've hidden our prom picture in a place that shall remain secret._

**I think he's the kind of guy who accidentally ties his fingers together with his tie. **

_Back then, yes. But Chris has learned me how to tie my tie properly. I like it better when Chris does it for me, though. So sometimes I mess up on purpose._

**Is it weird for me to look forward to the whole prom posing and our parents being annoying and taking pictures? **

_A little. But I was kinda doing the same._

**I feel like prom is another opportunity to show everybody we're just a normal couple. **

_We are, but they didn't really get the messages._

**I feel like we can show them we just want to dance at our prom together and we just want to have a good time. We're not offending anyone by doing that, right? **

* * *

The next page had only two words angrily written across the page.

**PROM SUCKS!**

_It does._

* * *

**Hi journal,**

**We've had our first fight. **

_Oh yeah. I'm surprised. This journal used to be full of the awful things the people at school did to him, but now he's left those things out. Now I'm reading this it seems like everything was fine, but it wasn't._

**I was at his house, we were just relaxing together. I was writing on my laptop and he wanted to read it. I told him I didn't want that. **

_He was very insecure about The Land Of Stories. I was so proud when he finally decided to share it with the world._

**Then he said I never let him close, I never let him read my story or I never opened up to him. **

_Sometimes I forgot how scarred Chris was. He had been building walls around himself for years. Sometimes I forgot they were there._

**I don't know how it happened, but all of a sudden there was yelling. I said some stupid things and he did, too. I don't even remember anymore, **

_Me neither._

**I didn't mean anything I said. **

_Me neither._

**It's true, I haven't completely opened up to him, but he knows more about me than anyone in this world. I love him. **

_Awww, don't make me cry again. I love you, too._

**I haven't said it like that, but he is my boyfriend. He should pick up on that, right? **

_I should. And you were right. I shouldn't have asked you to show me something that personal when you didn't want to._

**It's just hard for me to tell everything, every single thought in my head. **

_I know. And you're good at hiding your emotions, but in the end, I'm always able to read you._

**He's already read my journal, he has had a look in my mind. He of all people should know I've built a lot of walls around myself, for a reason. He should accept that. **

_I do. It's just that those walls are not made for me. They're for the people who want to hurt him. I would never do that. _

**I want to apologize to him. And I will, but I won't apologize for the walls around me, I'll apologize for the things I've said.**

* * *

**Dear journal,**

**We're all happy again. He was standing under my bedroom window early this morning. **

_I thought that was the most romantic thing in the world. I wrote a song all night and went to his house when I had finished. _

**He wrote me a love song, it's called 'Not Alone'. **

_Hehe I can't believe my most popular song is the first song I wrote for my first and only love._

**It was what he first told me when he had found my journal. It was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. **

_Just wait, there are a lot of sweet things to come._

**Then I went downstairs and we apologized and we made up and I told him I love him. And he said it back. **

Darren was grinning like an idiot and crying happy tears at that point. _It's like experiencing it all over again. Don't cry on the journal, Darren. It's to precious to ruin it with your tears._

**I meant it and so did he. I could see it in his eyes. **

_Boy, did I mean it. I've never meant anything more in my life._

**He makes me so happy. I don't care if he wants to move to San Francisco this summer, we'll figure it out. **

_You will._

**I love him and he loves me, everything will be okay.**

_It will._

* * *

**Hi journal,**

**We actually talked about our plans for our futures today, or should I say our future? Because we both established we want a future together. **

_See Chrissy (he hates it when I call him Chrissy, but he is adorable when he gets annoyed because of it), that wasn't that hard. It was just a little talk and everything turned out fine._

**I told him I want to go to LA or New York and he told me he wants to go wherever I go. **

_I didn't really have a plan. I never really have a plan, but it worked for me so far. Look where no plan has gotten me._

**He said he wants to go to collage and start a carrier in music afterwards. **

_That wasn't a plan, it was a dream._

**I told him I want to write and act and sing. And he is supportive. **

_Why wouldn't I be. He has always been supportive of me, still is, why wouldn't I support him? Besides, he wasn't really taking a risk. With his talent he was bound to end up where he is now._

**He said I'm going to make it and my book will become a best seller. **

_Was I right? Yes, yes I was._

**I love him so much. I want to spend my life with him.**

* * *

**Good morning journal,**

**Darren stayed over last night. **

_Oh my god, I'm so curious what he has to say about this._

**And not in the sleep over kind of way. **

**My parents are out of town for the weekend and I love him. That's why I decided I was ready. **

_I'm so in love with this guy. He's such a sweetie. No matter how many times we do the dirty, Chris just keeps that never ending innocence around him. That's one of the many reasons I love him._

**We we're eating dinner and I just knew it was right. **

_It was. We were comfortable, there was no rush, we cuddled afterwards and fell asleep in each other's arms. It wasn't the kind of first time you see in the movies, but it was our first time. It was perfect in our own little, imperfect way._

**It was a little awkward, **

_That too. Just a little bit, though._

**but everything was easier than I thought it would be. I expected to feel different afterwards, but I just feel like this is another way to show the love toward each other. It was just us, being in love and expressing that love.**

_That's exactly what it is._

* * *

**Hey journal,**

**This feels so weird. **

_What feels weird?_

**We decided to get an apartment together. **

_Oh, that. Yeah, that was kind of strange. But good, it felt really good._

**I'm going to be living with Darren next year. It's kind of exiting. **

_I couldn't wait to move to LA. We could finally leave stupid Colvis, we were going to make our dreams come true, and I was going to live with Chris. I was looking forward to every little thing that came with living together; seeing him every day, waking up next to him, sending a quick text messages during the day to ask who was cooking dinner. _

**We're looking for apartments in LA. Everything in our budget is a shoebox, **

_I remember our first apartment. We put our bed in it and we could hardly move around it. _

**but I'm looking forward to living with Darren. He has this positive energy around him which I'm absolutely addicted to. I love him so much. **

_I love you, too._

**I can't believe we're doing this already. Usually, people move in together when they've been together for years. **

_What's the point in renting two apartments when you know you're going to end up living together in the end?_

**We've only been dating for under a year, but somehow it feels natural. I feel like I've known him all my life. He knows me better than anyone in this world and I can't wait to take this step with him.**

* * *

**Goodbye journal,**

_Goodbye?_

**This is the last page. It's perfect timing. We're leaving for LA today. **

_This is the last page? _Darren flipped the page over to check.

**I want to thank you, journal. You've helped me so much. It started out as a place for my emotions, but it brought the love of my life to me. **

_Here I go again. I'm such a cry baby, but it feels like I've just read trough my teenage years._

**I got the chance to be with him because of you, journal, and it's the best thing that ever happened to me.**

_You're the best thing that ever happened to me, too._

**Thank you for everything. **

_Yes, thank you, Journal. Without you I'd never have had the guts to go up to Chris. _

**If you're reading this, future Chris, get back to bed, Darren is waiting for his big spoon.**

Darren could only fall more in love when he read that last sentence.

**Love Chris.**


End file.
